Using a More Loving Language - Kind Words Have Power

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” ―Mother Teresa

What if we expand this tradition of expressing our appreciation for the people in our lives to include those we love, serve, and lead? How can we extend the spirit of Valentine’s Day beyond February 14? Could we shower more people with kindness? How could this impact them? Why would we want to shift our language to a more loving one?

Consideration of Language

As we think about loving, kind, and positive feelings, messages, cards, gifts, or experiences we want to share with our loved ones, let’s also consider how our language could serve as an uplifting example in both our living and working situations. When was the last time we showed appreciation to the people we associate with at home and work? Have we ever expressed kindness to our clients, colleagues, or students? When was the last time we shared words of acknowledgment, congratulations, or positivity with them? Did we recognize how their attitude may have brightened or their behavior improved when we did? In return, did they shower us or others with kindness, too?

Words of Affirmation

In the book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman offers Love Language #1 as “Words of Affirmation.” He begins this section of the book by sharing the Mark Twain quote, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” The author goes on to explain that “one way to express love is to use words that build.” As a partner, leader, teacher, or caregiver, are we using words that build up or are we using words that break down? Do those whom we love, serve, or lead consistently learn about how disappointed we are in them, or do they comprehend how happy we are with their progress?

Let’s take some time to consider what language we use with others. Are our words kind ones that are filled with positivity, respect, and praise? Or, are we too quick to use negative language that criticizes or challenges? As a partner, parent, teacher, or leader, if we need to communicate with our partner, child, employee, client, or student and their family, could we begin with positivity? Could we build up first? Then, rather than breaking down, could we offer suggestions for improvement? How are our tone and timing influencing the language we use?

Using a More Loving Language

Consider these key changes to improve our daily language:

Reflect
Give thought to how we have spoken or written to others in the past. Do we use words that help or harm? Do we begin with a greeting? Do we share a positive comment? Are we only complaining, or do we offer suggestions for improvement? Do we show gratitude? What are the tone and timing of our words? How are our words received? How does the receiver react to the language we use?

Research

Examine who we may have communicated with recently. When was the last time we shared words of kindness with them? Why have we not done so? Did we even realize this was the case? What have we done to improve our language?

Refresh
Make a conscious effort to share kind words with those we love, serve, or lead. Let others know we are thinking of them. Praise them for their efforts. Congratulate them. Show gratitude.

Tough conversations are often necessary, but if there is little to no positive feedback given, a more loving language may need to be considered. Kind words have power. They may even produce more kindness and positivity! Let’s keep this in mind as we examine our language and consider the words, tone, and timing we use. Are we building up or breaking down? As Mother Teresa so eloquently states, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

from Nafme blog post by Dr. Lori Schwartz Reichl